Sunday, May 8, 2011

Mother's day

Beautiful

Versatile

And very popular.

What our kids love about their mom (notice the frequency of the word awesome) :

James: Everything makes her great. She gives me markers, I guess. She just helps me swim at the deep end, I guess.

Miranda: Mom is awesome because she works hard and is patient with everyone and is a good cook and is very kind and loving.

Lucy: Mom is awesome because she is a great cook and is very patient and is really nice and loving. She gives awesome hugs and is great at reading to us. She is great at snuggling and has a great sense of humor.

Liam: Some of the great things about Mom are that she works very hard for our whole family, cooking and cleaning for us, and she does it happily too. In fact, she always tries to have a positive attitude. She tries to help us with anything we need help with, and tries to help us to be happy ourselves. She is fun, encouraging(not to mention a great cook), and just plain awesome.


And me: I knew what I was getting when I asked Julie to marry me nearly seventeen years ago, mostly.

I knew that I was marrying one of the kindest, most generous, talented and prettiest girls on the planet, but I didn't fully understand what it would mean to be married to someone so kind, generous, talented and pretty. I didn't understand the responsibilities that come with marrying awesomeness. The simple truth about awesomeness is that, after long periods of close proximity, it can begin to appear common. So, even though I intellectually understand the awesomeness of my wife and the mother of my children, I don't always show this awareness through my words or actions. I take her for granted.

I knew what I was getting, but I didn't understand what it would mean for our family. I didn't see how her willingness and support would really make everything good in our lives possible. Her selflessness has been integral in offsetting my own selfish tendencies.

So, in the permanence of cyber-space, for all to see, let me acknowledge some truths, and in those less ideal moments where I become more concerned with being right than with being kind, I want to give her the ammunition she needs to end disagreements and come out on top in any argument. I could have bought her earings, but the following concessions I think will have more sentimental value.


Dear Julie,
If the Internet does go down and you need to hear this from my three dimensional self, at any point in any discussion for the rest of our marriage, I promise to read any or all of the following statements to you without the least bit of irony or sarcasm. It's the least you deserve. Happy mother's day.

I'm listening.

Sure, I'd love to do that.

I love it. It looks great.

How can I help?

Spend what you need to.

You are not ruining our children's lives.

You are smart, beatiful, funny and talents, and I'm sorry I don't tell you more often.

You're right, as always. I don't know what I was thinking. Oh, wait, I do know what I was thinking. I was thinking about myself. I wasn't thinking about you. I was thinking about what was easiest for me. I did not think about how this would affect you which was also selfish, and I know that if I had taken that advice you offered we wouldn't be in this situation. I will try to do better at listening to you and trusting you. I love you.


2 comments:

The Denning Family said...

My favorite post ever. And can I add my own personal testimonial that my sister is awesome?! Love you Julie! Hope you had a GREAT mother's day!

Amanda said...

In a word.....AWESOME! Love the post, love the video, love the sweet sentiments from your children. And I am thinking that Julie needs to come cook for us.